Good Mourning

It's 6 am and I've been up since 4, but I guess that's what jet lag does to you...
Well, I'm really home now, looking around at all the stuff in my room, some of it European and some of it not.
Okay, let me rewind a bit.
The week with my parents was really hectic, but it was also nice because I got to see them and some parts of the Netherlands that I hadn't already seen (De Zaanse Schaans, Volendam, the Anne Frank house, the Van Gogh museum, the Gouda cheese market, etc). In Volendam my family and my host parents and I took a really REALLY touristic photo, which I'll put on facebook soon. During the week we managed to fill my family with all the typical Dutch foods, like Rijsttafel, herring, cheese, stroopwaffels, croquetten, fries, and yeah, just about everything. But when the week was done, I only had one more day with my host family.
We went to the "Parade" in Den Haag, which is really more like a carnival/festival thing with a couple of rides, food, and tents where they have shows you have to pay for. Mostly I just sat around talking with Jotte and her family, but I rode the swing ride with Elise, Anne-Laure, and Sebastiaan, too. Matthias and I watched a skit/rock show which was... interesting, to say the least. Haha, just kidding, it was actually really funny! In a dark, demented sort of way...... hm..... great way to end the year, I suppose.
It felt really weird packing my suitcases, because it felt like I was leaving home again, I mean, it felt the exact same way it did when I was packing to leave America, which I hadn't expected.
That night I read a story to Sebastiaan and afterwards he said, "I think it's stupid that you're leaving. You have to stay here for... forever! For 100 years!" That was really sweet. Sebastiaan is a really sweet kid.
My last breakfast was.... drumroll please.... bread! Nooo but I really liked it, actually. My last "American filet" (raw meat) and "hail hits" (chocolate sprinkles) on bread. How sad. I'll miss Dutch bread spreads.... well, I brought some sprinkles home for my dad.
After breakfast, I gave some of Carla and Matthias's stuff back, but when I handed them the house key, Carla said, "No, Emily, you belong to this house, so the key belongs to you." Aww, how nice!! I'm going to keep it on my keychain. As we were all walking to the car to take me to the airport, Elise said, "I wish it was the first day you were here again," and I said, "Yes, but then I wouldn't speak very good Dutch," but she said she didn't care, because I could just learn it again. In the car ride, Matthias said, "You know, we all agree that you're a member of our family now, so it's going to be different around here without you." All these kind words! I hope I've expressed my appreciation to these wonderful people enough, although I'm sure I haven't.
A couple of friends and my school mentor came to see me off at the airport, which was really nice of them. You know what's funny is that when I arrived in August, it was really sunny outside, which isn't typical August weather, so it was like the Netherlands was happy to see me. When I left a couple of days ago, it was cloudy and a bit rainy, which is not typical July weather, so it was like the country was sad to see me go. So deep, I know. Well, eventually I was on my way. 5 movies, 4 Americans, 3 airplanes, 2 days and 1 big shock later, I was back in California.
No but really. Culture shock is WEIRD.
Everything just hit me at once. Everyone speaking English in a whiney, drawn-out way, drinking giant iced coffees, paying with thin coins and all green papers, guys dressed in Abercrombie drinking Fiji water, Spanish on the intercoms in the airport, women chatting you up and pretending to be interested in you for a couple of seconds and then completely ignoring you, the low doorknobs and counters that would have Dutch people bent at right angles to reach, cushy carpets, cars, BIG cars, dry landscape and hot weather, mourning doves cooing in the backyard, mountains next to freeways (or just mountains, for that matter), bag fillers at the supermarkets, not a red brick house in sight, and certainly no bikes. Actually, there are a couple of roads with sections designated for bikes now, which is new, but I don't think that more people have started biking here that usual because of them. It was also so great to see my dog again!! He greeted me and then generally seemed uninterested in me until I gave him food or petted him, but I guess his idea of a good human relationship is a bit similar to mine. (Okay, so maybe I'm a little more compassionate than that.... :D )
Being in my own room is great, but it feels a bit strange. I was a different person back when this was my mini-world. I've grown up a bit. Oh, I do hope that I won't go back to the way I used to be! Well, I'm sure that when I go off to college soon I will only become even more cool and independent, so I'm looking forward to that.
You know, in a way it feels as if nothing has really changed. Like I was asleep for a long, long time and that the Netherlands is just a strange, twisted dream that I made up. Then I woke up and everything was just the way I had left it - my city, my room, my friendships - except that I've changed a bit myself.
I'm going to hang out with one of my friends today and I'm so excited!! I haven't seen her for 10 months, can you believe it, and now we'll finally be able to actually stand next to each other! The distance of a few feet versus a few thousand miles is pretty big.
This summer I'm just going to chill out, do some reading, learn some Spanish, go to Alaska with my fam, get prepared for college and do some more chilling out. Then it's back to work! I'm really interested in other cultures and languages now, so I hope to find a job that allows me to travel and speak to people from around the world, although I need to screw my head on right and get more organized if I'm going to make that dream come true.
Well, this was my last blog post. Hah. I started my blog in my bedroom and I'm ending it here, too. My first food in the Netherlands was a stroopwaffel, that was also my last food there. The first advertisement I saw in NL was one for a bank, and the first one I saw back in LA was also one for a bank. I went from a red white and blue flag to red white and blue one and back again. The only thing that doesn't come out as a perfect circle here is that I left home speaking poor Dutch and I came home speaking fluent Dutch. There's always room for improvement, though.
That's it! I'm done! And while my year abroad is over, I'll still be an exchange student, always and forever. Thanks for following me on this amazing journey. I can't wait to see what the future will hold, not just for me, but for you as well. I think it will be incredible.
So. Who's up for a cheeseburger?
Tot ziens,
Emily

Alles

Ik heb geen zin om in het Engels te typen, dus ik ga gewoon in het Nederlands typen. Van mij mogen jullie gebruik maken van een vertaler, maar als je goed Nederlands leest, dan is dat natuurlijk helemaal niet nodig....
Ik ben naar Parijs geweest! Met mijn vriendin, Jotte! Het was echt super geweldig geweest. We mogen bij Carla's broer's gezin logeren, en dat vond ik heel erg aardig van hun. Weet je wat interessant is? Toen ik in de metro zat, zei ik tegen Jotte, "De mensen hier zien hier anders uit, maar ik snap niet waarom..." en ze zei, "Ja, dat heb je overal in Europe." Raar, hè? Maar, goed, we hebben echt heel veel genoten van Parijs. Het was wel een beetje warm.... maar we hebben de Eiffeltoren geklommen, door de Notre Dam gelopen, naar de Mona Lisa gekeken, en... ja, andere dingen ook, maar ik weet de namen niet want zij waren allemaal in het Frans dus.... ze waren sowieso leuk. En mooi :) Oh! Maar ik moet absoluut zeggen dat we naar de Moulin Rouge zijn geweest! Okeee jammer dat we niet naar binnen kunnen, want dat kost veel geld, maar het bestaat echt! En ik heb het gezien! Hahaha, weet je wat ik heb ook gezien...? Heeeeeeel veeeel Amerikaners! Dat was zo ontsettend grappig. Ik wil niet meer terug gaan. Ik bedoel... was ik ook zo geweest? Zij praten over alles maar het klinkt als niks, en hun stemmen zijn bijna altijd aan het zeuren. En ik kon zien dat alle meisjes dachten, "Ohh ik ben mooi en vet cool omdat ik in Parijs ben...." Ugh, wauw, in het begin van het jaar zei ik dingen tegen Nederland, en nu zeg ik de nadelen van Amerika! Gek is dat.... Anyways...
Jotte en ik hebben verse bessen en stokbrood gekocht en gegeten in een park. Dat was gezellig... en lekker. Ik heb een nieuwe hoed gekocht. Wit. Met blauwe bloemen. Wat schattig! Nou ja, verder met het verhaal...
Sera (vanuit Japan) en ik hebben ons afscheid feest gister gegeven. Blijkbaar vinden Nederlanders 'rootbeer floats' niet lekker. Ze smaken, volgens hen, van tandpasta.... nou, behalve dat was het was mooi afgelopen, maar ik was bezig bijna de hele tijd met serveren en alles, maar Jotte en Carla en Matthias, en ja veel mensen hebben ook geholpen, dus volgens mij was het leuk voor iedereen. Ik vond het in ieder geval geweldig maar ook een beetje triest om mijn Nederlandse vrienden voor de laatste keer te zien. Nou ja, eigenlijk komen veel mensen mij uitzwaaien bij de vliegveld, en dat vind ik heel erg leuk, ik kan het gewoon niet uitleggen hoe lief dat is van hun. Ik ga zij missen.... iedereen.
Trouwens.... mijn ouders zijn hier!!! En mijn zus!! Verbazend, toch??? Nu moet ik Engels praten, en het voelt vreemd. Mijn vrienden hier zeggen dat mijn gezin vrij klein is - ik bedoel, niet lang, dus. Hahaha, neeee jullie zijn gewoon te lang!! Oh wat ben ik moe, we hebben zo veel dingen gedaan de afgelopen paar weken, het is bijna niet te geloven dat ik terug ga. Ik heb echt een leven hier opgebouwd (ja, het duurde wel eventjes, maar ik heb het toch gedaan, hoor) en nu.... terug? Hmm.... ik ga sowieso een nieuwe ervaring hebben volgend jaar met universiteit en alles, maar ik vind Europe zo leuk. Het ging super snel na januari (ja, Carla, jij had helemaal gelijk) en nu is het..... OMG!!! Ik heb minder dan een week nog! Dit kan gewoon niet, dit KAN gewoon niet! Ik moet nog dingen regelen, ik moet nog wat spullen inpakken.... ik vind het zo moeilijk om afscheid te nemen. Weet je wat een van mijn vriendinnen heeft gezegd toen ze weg ging van mijn feest? Ze zei, "Eindelijk heb ik een echt vriendin gemaakt, en nu gaat ze weg." Hoorde je dat? Ik ben een echt vriendin van iemand! Zeg, dat is wel wat! Hopelijk komen zij en haar vriendje naar mij toe volgend jaar - ja dat klopt - ze komen helemaal naar Amerika voor mij! En ja, waarschijnlijk ook voor een leuke vakantie, maar shhh laat me maar dromen dat het alleen voor mij is :)
Morgen gaan we (mijn gast ouders en mijn Amerikaanse gezin) naar Volendam. En jij weet wat dat betekent.... verschrikkelijk Nederlandse foto's!! Yayyy! Dat weet mijn gezin nog niet, maar hahahaha het gaat een verassing worden! Maak je geen zorgen daarover, ik ga de foto's op facebook zetten, hoor?
Oh, en vandaag heeft Matthias (samen met de schoon broer van Carla) een zeilen race gewonnen! Een keer waren zij de eerste, en de tweede keer waren zij de tweede! Woo-hoo!
Nou, zoals ik net heb gezegd, ik ben suuuuper moe, maar ik moest een blog post schrijven want de vorige was al een tijdtje geleden. Ik ga dus nu naar bed. Maar ik mag een ding niet vergeten. Een van mijn vrienden op school vroeg een keer aan mij, "Heb je wel eens over mij geschreven in je blog?" Ik moest eventjes nadenken, maar toen zei ik, "Ja, volgens mij zei ik een keer, 'er is een jongen in mijn klas die altijd 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' zingt." Hij zei, "Dan moet je nu schrijven dat die jongen heeft in de lucht gesprongen van blijheid van de feit dat hij een keer in je blog was." Maar ik zei, "Ik ga echt niet leigen in mijn blog." Dus, hij heeft het wel gedaan, en nu moet ik het schrijven van hem. Alsjeblieft, Milo.
Oke, hup, naar bed! (Carla, je stem zit in mijn hoofd, en nu zit hij ook op mijn blog.)
Slaap lekker,
Emily

Spelletje Spelen

Let's play a game!
....
C'mooooooon, it'll be fun! There's even a Spanish related prize in it for you if you participate.
Ready?
Okay, so this is how to play: I'll tell you a personal anecdote, like I always do in my blogs, but this time you get to choose a reaction. You can choose between WTF and LOL. So, if you read an anecdote and think it's funny, then you'd choose LOL, and if you think that it's stupid then you'd choose WTF. Remember how many times you choose each one because your prize depends on the totals.
Let's begin.
1. I went to the AFS end camp last weekend and saw all the other exchange students. It was really fun; probably the best weekend I've had so far in NL. It's funny, some of these people I've only seen twice during my year, but I still feel like we're really good friends. We did a lot of dancing. And uhh... let's just say I learned a bit more about the many "romantic" languages, particularly from Venezuela and Italy. (WTF/LOL)
2. Today I was looking to buy a new pair of shorts, and I found a really cute pair in the H&M. I tried them on but they were a little tight, so I gave them back and went to find a larger size. I couldn't for the life of me find where I had gotten them. I spent an hour walking in circles trying to find them again because they were exactly the shorts I had been looking for, but it was to no avail. Finally I just grabbed a different pair and tried them on, but they looked horrible so I gave them back. Then, I saw the old pair I had tried on earlier being carried away. So I found that pair again and realized that it was the exact same style as the one I had just tried on. Wow. I just bought the too tight version because it's not like it doesn't fit and it looked better anyways. (WTF/LOL)
3. After I bought the shorts, a guy stopped me in the street and asked if I was from the area (in English). I figured he wanted directions so I stopped to talk to him. Turns out he wanted to give me direction. He handed me a book about self-discovery and started showing me pictures in it and telling me about it. I was half being polite and half actually interested in what he was saying so I started asking him questions about it. After a while I realized that this could be a really good scam to steal someone's wallet, so I reached into my bag to make sure that nobody had come from behind and robbed me. Well, once we both realized that wallet was still there, I sort of felt obligated to give him a donation. So now I have a self-discovery book and an invitation to join a Christian group when I go back to LA. (WTF/LOL)
4. Yesterday I got to school dripping in sweat. Today I came home dripping in rain. (WTF/LOL)
5. I finally started feeling like an exchange student. Oh well, better late than never, right? (WTF/LOL)
6. I speak Dutch. (WTF/LOL)
7. I'm going back to America in 2.5 weeks. (There is only one option for this one - WTF)
8. People here actually seem to like me and tell me that they will miss me. (WTF/LOL)
9. I've got national pride for the Netherlands, but I don't think I'd like to live here (WTF/LOL)
10. I made a game on a blog post allowing the world to criticize and/or laugh at my personal life and inner thoughts. But I'm going to miss writing in my blog. I feel oh-so-very clever when I do. (WTF/LOL)
Wasn't that a fun game??? Now time for your Spanish related prize!
If you answered mostly WTF, then this is your prize:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vURjhSD-FE8
(But stop being so critical, hahaha)
If you answered mostly LOL, then THIS is your prize:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngRq82c8Baw
(I know right, my life is a joke)
If you got half/half, or just couldn't decide, then you get this, which is only funny if you speak Spanish and Dutch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swghsu7LXSs
(You're the most like me.... doesn't know how to take a joke, but won't write it off as not-funny too soon)
Thanks for playing :)
Well, anyways, I'd like to mention something before you go. We were all given a candle at the AFS end camp, and we had to say something to everyone and then blow out our candle until everyone had said something and it was totally dark. Anyways, everyone kinda liked what I said, so I'll tell you what I had to say about my exchange year:
"Okay, I guess I'll say something now, because Daniel won't stop bothering me to hurry up..... Well, this year did NOT go the way I expected it to, but it was definitely the most... human year of my life. I mean, I've seen seemingly happy people crying, I've seen grumpy people burst out laughing... my seemingly invincible Italian friend got hit by a bus - didn't see that one coming - but most of all, the people who I thought would kick me when I was down were actually the ones to help me back up, so that was really special..."
I'm told that my speech was liked second best next to one of the Canadian's, which was, "Let's make a deal: if you ever want to come to Quebec, then you pay for the plane ticket and I'll pay for the rest."
I don't mind that mine was liked second best to that. That's pure genius.
Tot ziens,
Emily

Pinkpop Enzo.

Hello again, I've been meaning to write a new post for a while. Then again, I've been meaning to do a lot of things lately...
I guess I'll start with Pinkpop.
If you don't know what that is, it's a three day music festival here in NL, which takes place on the holiday of Pinksteren (hence the name). I went with Matthias, and basically it was.........
AMAZING!!!!!!!
No, really, I mean, look at the list of artists we got to see (in order of appearance):
-Lifehouse - Simple Plan - Elbow - Coldplay - Versaemerge - Tim Knol - Cage the Elephant* - Wolfmother - Graffiti6 - White Lies - The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77* - Kings of Leon - Scouting for Girls - Plain White T's - Two Doors Cinema Club - Eliza Doolittle - Go Back to the Zoo* - Band of Horses - Kaiser Chiefs - Deadmau5* - Foo Fighters*
I put little stars to the artists that I most enjoyed listening to. Pretty cool, right? I'll now go over the details...
Okay. There are two things that could potentially kill a person at Pinkpop. The first is extended exposure to second hand smoke. The second (and more likely event) is the consumption of Matthias's breakfast sandwiches. (Just kidding, M!! They were really good!!) We basically just teased each other the entire trip. I guess we can do that because we aren't strangers, or friends, or family. Well, maybe we're sort of friends. He did save me from being mashed in a mash pit during the Death Crew show. My hero.
Anyways, can you believe I got to see Deadmau5 live??? It's like, a dream come true! But also an oxymoron if you think about it.... like Schrodinger's cat... the people standing next to me were really boring, though. They didn't really dance. They mostly just stared at me dancing. Plus there was a super friggin tall guy right in front of me, which was annoying, but I guess I should have expected that when I chose to go to a concert in the Netherlands. Note to self: next time, bring elevator shoes.
Simple Plan was really funny to watch because they tried to speak Dutch. Here is what they said:
"Hey there, Nederlaaaaaand! Are you ready to jump? Are you ready to Sprrrrrrring?! Heel ggggggggggggggggoed!"
Everyone was cracking up. Matthias thought it was kind of lame that they tried to organize the mash pits, though.
Speaking of jumping, there were these bugs on our tent late at night, and Matthias was like, "Ohh, look, these are the jumping kind! I'll bet if I poke it, it'll jump."
Me: "I don't think that will work..."
Mat: *poke* "Come, on jump!" *poke*
Me: "Uhmm...."
Mat: *POKE*
Bug: *slides off tent into grass*
Me: "It jumped alright... to its death."
Mat: *pokes the other bug, which also falls into the grass"
Don't know why I felt the need to tell you that...
Also, it was really funny, because Matthias was heating some water to make coffee with when the camp police dudes came over and were like, "So uhh... you can't cook on the field. You can only cook in the cooking area." What was so funny about it is that Matthias is good at stalling people while he argues why it should be totally acceptable for him to cook just where he was, so that by the time we were surrounded by 8 or so officer guys (who obviously had nothing better to do than to tell us we couldn't make coffee...) M said, "Well, okay, I'll turn off my cooker for you. My water has started to boil anyways." They left. I was laughing out loud in my head. We placed the cooker in a hole behind our tent from then on.
You know, there were some pretty clever people on a nearby mountain listening to the concert (because it was really, really loud, I'm sure they could hear it pretty well) I mean, there was a big group of them standing there. But there was one die hard Kings of Leon fan who I really have to commend. He is one creative guy. This guy actually hang glided over the festival square to hear a bit of the concert! If that's not clever thinking, I don't know what is.
So basically, the Foo Fighters were AWESOME! It had started to drizzle a bit when they began to play, but then halfway through a song, the singer just stopped and said, "I'd like to take a moment to point out that there's a FUCKING RAINBOW over there! *points* Look at that! This is the best fucking rock concert we've ever played at!" That was seriously so cool. I'd say they were the best act of the whole festival; they made for a really nice ending to the weekend.
Oh, and apparently I'm a little bit less than friendly to attractive male strangers.
For instance, Matthias thought it was strange that I didn't talk to/dance with the teenagers who were lurking around me at a club thing, and that I didn't stare at all the boys with no shirts on as they walked to the showers.
But to be honest, I didn't want anything to do with these guys. For 2 straight hours on the last night, guess what our ears were entreated with? Go on, guess. Well, I have no idea what you guessed, but it probably wasn't right. Imagine a chorus of 20 of these oh so very attractive young men asking the same question over and over, yet never expecting an answer. The question was this:
WAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP??
2. Full. Hours.
Oh yes. These are the men for me.
There were actually a lot of people. No, not just a lot, an OCEAN of people. If you really want a number, it's 60,000. That means a lot of litter. I literally tripped over litter every time I tried to walk in a straight line on the festival square. But you know what was funny, when Matthias and I staggered into the house at 9 o'clock Tuesday morning, the kids were screaming and I was like, "Wow, it's really hectic here!" and Carla said, "Yes, you just came from a concert with 60,000 people, and you think my house is more hectic with 4." Hahahahaha, ja, zo is het Carla, zo is het.
Now for the "enzo. (etc.)" part.
1. I saw the new X-men film with some friends. It was really good!
2. There is a super hero on tv here and her name is Mega Mindy. Apparently she does live shows sometimes, and dad's like to go with their kids because they think she's hot. This is so, so wrong.
3. I almost forgot to mention that we got free cola at Pinkpop.
4. I told my friend that all I really wanted to was to get my big blanket from home and eat ice cream with my dog while watching a movie. She said, "Well.... I have a cat, a big blanket, ice cream and a movie. You could come to my house after school." I did. It was really nice of her.
5. So it's a tradition for kids who have just passed their last exams of high school to hang up their backpacks from the outside of the house (on a flag pole or a window or something) but so far I've only seen 3. Someone hasn't been paying enough attention.
6. I heard people talking at Pinkpop, and it's really weird to hear so many different accents from the same country! I'm so used to the Hague accent, I had forgotten that people in other cities speak differently.
Okay, but now I really have to figure some stuff out, and it's getting late and ahhh I'm kinda stressed but not really so I ain't gonna proofread this, sorry if there are mistakes, but I can't fix that right now.
Tot ziens,
Emily

Naturally Beautiful

So we went camping.
We weren't really in a forest, it was more like we were on a camping field next to a farm, but the farm was near forests and other stuff, even a town. It was a really hot weekend, but our tents were next to some nice trees, so we had good shade during the day. I met a girl who's 11 years old and already speaks three languages. Carla asked me if I would have rather spent my year abroad on a farm, and I said, "Well, I don't know. I mean, I didn't spend my year abroad on a farm so I can't say if I would have liked it better or not. You never know. And who knows, I might have been dead by now if that had happened."
Funny that you should say that, Em.
The last night on the campsite, I woke up early in the morning, probably 5 am or something. I got up to go to the bathroom, and as I was walking back to my tent, I felt a couple of drops on my forehead. I thought, "Oh, it's starting to rain. It's nice warm weather, though. Pretty clouds." Then I heard a low rumble of thunder off in the distance, and I thought, "Oh, thunder, that's nice. Thunder is cool and somehow comforting." I crawled back in my sleeping bag and listened to the rain patter on the tent, waiting for sleep to come.
Then it happened. Not only did I hear it, but I felt it, a jolting shock under my bed, and it sounded like a million whips in the hand of Zeus had slashed against the ground outside. Even with my eyes closed everything went white. Within half a second, my thinking went from, "Nice clouds" to "OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" But, when nothing else seemed to be happening, I just forgot about it and went back to sleep.
When I emerged from my flimsy yellow cave and into the hazy sunlight, there were a lot of other campers hanging out behind my tent. Someone pointed to a nearby tree about 8 feet away from my tent, and would you believe it, it had been struck by lightning!! A huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge gash had been sliced through the bark; it must have been about 13 feet long. And there was wood everywhere, all over my tent, big chunks on the ground... Matthias says he thinks he was hit by a piece of the trunk, because he was outside at the time, trying to save our stuff from getting wet in the rain.
Shade can go to hell, and it probably just did.


The one thing nobody understands is why the lightning hit where it did. It hit the tree about halfway down, right on the stub from a branch that had been cut down a couple of weeks ago.
Matthias says I attract things like this. I said, "That's because I'm naturally beautiful."
So clever of me, right?
It's a good thing I'm not religious, or I might have been a changed woman right now. I mean, it was so close! Well, maybe it really was a sign, but then for the guy who's car was parked right under the tree. His right side mirror was shattered and melted in three places.
Anyways.
Spiders like to hang out in my hair. However, they are unwelcome.
On a happier note, the BBQ we ate at the campsite was seriously out of this world. We bought the meat at a special farm, where the lady was really really nice.
Camping is nice because everything smells good. Even the misfortunate tree smelled good. And I love nature, so just wandering around was nice. Oh, and I'm past page 100 in East of Eden by John Steinbeck, and it's so good! I totally recommend it!
I like my new oxford shoes, because they make a clikketty-clakketty sound when I walk, making me feel important.
Tot ziens,
Emily
PS: Going a bit back in time, there was a summer party at Elise and Sebastiaan's school, and the theme was "World Children". Matthias was chosen to be Berlusconi, and I had to play Ruby. So world children friendly. (That's supposed to be Obama in between us, but I must say it's not the best mask I've ever seen.)

cOnFuSiOn

I've just been so confused lately, I don't even know what to write.
I mean, I'm going home in like, 5 weeks.
How crazy.
I get the feeling that I just figured out how to be a good exchange student and now it's basically over.
It's like...
Leaving is going to be hard because of a lot of things.
My friends here are amazing, and I love my host family, and I feel like I still have unfinished business to attend to. Like going out more often or something like that. But Matthias says that looking back and regretting things won't help, because people are who they are and do what they do. He said that if I think I can improve or do better, then I can start tomorrow. "Not right now," he said, "because it's getting kind of late." Hahahaha.
People keep telling me that they're proud of me, and they give me reasons, but I still can't seem to grasp why. I don't feel particularly proud or unproud. I just sort of feel normal.
It's incredible the amount of emotions that have been stuffed into the last 9 months. I've felt depressed, lonely, afraid, worthless, tired, stressed, hopeless, stupid, angry, ashamed, embarrassed, ugly, mean, frustrated, misunderstood, blank, lazy, ignorant, jealous, jittery, powerless, reckless, defeated, homesick, bored, philosophical, enlightened, deep, better, free, powerful, excited, ecstatic, on top of the world, content, unique, strong, happy, peaceful, awesome, pretty, loved, understood, alive, helpful, changed, giddy, inspired, trusted, comfortable, accepting and accepted.
The worst feeling was when I thought life wasn't worth living anymore.
The best feeling was when the people who I thought would leave me didn't.
I've learned to stand up for myself and take charge of my own life.
I've learned that showing compassion is just as wonderful and meaningful as receiving it.
I guess life is just an ongoing process.
Gotta learn, learn, learn, learn, learn and don't ever let your lessons go to waste.
Tot ziens,
Emily

10 Little Things

1. When I bike to school, there are sometimes trucks on the bike path in the shopping center. They're kind of annoying, but I mean I understand and I deal with it. But today, a GIANT car was driving RIGHT behind me on a bike path where normal cars don't even fit, and that was scary!!
2. There's this kid who sings out, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" almost every day in class. It's basically awesome.
3. A girl told me a secret yesterday and I'm glad she trusts me.
4. I told a group of friends something personal today and they said they're glad that I trust them.
5. It was a sunny day today so I sat outside petting the neighbors cat (who thinks that our backyard is his house).
6. Someone next door was practicing flute, which provided for a nice ambiance.
7. I actually put on make-up today and I think I will do that more often.
8. This girl was talking about a play she wants to see this fall, and she was like, "Oh my gosh, we should go together! .... Oh wait.... you won't be here anymore. Nooo! I don't like it that you're going to leave!" That made me feel good and bad at the same time.
9. The school in this music video is the school I go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBDl9NJapz8
10. Somehow, lots of Dutch kids haven't discovered chocolate covered stroopwaffels yet (which are on the top shelf of the cookie aisle in the Albert Heijn, in case you wanted to know). How is this possible!?! They're the most delicious thing ever! My American friend told me about them, and I mean, wow. Well, leave it to the Americans to take a treasured Dutch treat and dip it in chocolate. But seriously - if you live near an Albert Heijn, go try these, you won't regret it.
Tot ziens,
Emily